I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
