Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize