I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
