well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just forgot I was standing up.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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