did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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