whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
