oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Even my vagina gasped.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
