i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
