We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
