Sponge bath it is.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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