SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
