i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
