if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
