I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
