You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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