I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
