Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize