Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My vagina just recognized that song.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
