The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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