I must be too annoying 4 u.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
