I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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