none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
