So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
