You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
