Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
