Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
