Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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