Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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