I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
