You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
