Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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