Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Watching her eat just hurts me
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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