I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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