that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
