I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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