If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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