Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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