Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need water and some morals
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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