She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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