oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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