I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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