Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize