you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize