In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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