you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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