Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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