I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
