Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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