After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
