would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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