My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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