they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
