Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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