yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
