I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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