YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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