Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
