I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
