Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
