I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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