he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
