it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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