I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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