used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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