We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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