p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
